God is crazy! In a couple of days my good friend, Rebecca, and I are going back to my daughter's birth country in Central Africa. Going on a "missions trip" (along with adopting a child) is not something I thought was part of my life story. I was (and still am) comfortable, happy, saved by Jesus! It was easy to gloss over the verses that said to me "care for the orphans", "if you have a lot, give a lot because it isn't really yours, God gave it to you", and "I love you, I know what's best for you, TRUST IN ME". But, I have learned not to box God in, not to assume what my purpose is in life. I have learned not to believe that I am not special enough or strong enough to do those type of things....those type of "things" that others are called to do. I really don't have the energy for 5 or more children (one of whom has special physical needs), I don't have the money to help support 200 children more than 6,000 miles away, or the time to leave my family when I run the household. But, my weaknesses are not stronger than God's strength.
When I remember standing in front of children who I felt craving my love, the love of one stranger.....I can't forget that feeling. I touched & kissed them, I smelled them, they are real....and they are still in that orphanage. The one that has dirty concrete floors, that smells worse than a barnyard. The one where there aren't enough beds, food, medicine, clothes, and caretakers. The one where children die from simple preventable malnutrition.
After being there God has lit a fire under me! And I pray God rekindles that fire into a raging inferno! I am scared and nervous, not because of where I will be physically, but because of what I will experience emotionally.
I am not going to wait for someone else to take action. I might mess it up a little, but God doesn't call perfect people to do great things, He uses epic failures.
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