God has spoken through our youngest, 4 year old Josey, over the last few months. When talking of our friends being in the process of adopting 2 more children, Josey asked if they were coming to live at our house. I said, "no", she said, "why not?"...ever since then I seriously asked myself that same question.
Then, on the first day of our trip to Myrtle Beach this summer in mid-July , while Doug and I intently watched the children on the beach, we literally lost Josey. She was missing for so long we thought she had drowned (she can't swim) or was stolen. Everyone was looking for her, grown men who didn't even know us were in tears as we continued to look. We all thought she was gone. As I was walking/running up the beach scanning the people, asking if they had seen her, my heart hurt so bad. I have never, ever felt so sick in my whole life. My mind had gone from "where is she?" to "this is the worst day of my life, I have lost my child... forever". I cry now just remembering... At that moment I had absolutely no control, she was in God's hands. And then, unknown to me, a woman was following behind me saying "is that her walking up ahead?" The figure was so far away I couldn't tell who it was, a child or an adult? So I ran, splashing the water on people as I hurried by. Halfway to the figure I recognized it was her! So I ran full speed and when I came upon her she was still calmly walking away, her back to me, unknowing she was lost, and now found! I scooped her up, too relieved she was alive to scold her at that moment. Later that afternoon, Josey threw a crying fit not wanting to nap. And as I lay with her, I didn't get frustrated at her fit, I rejoiced in her being alive. I enjoyed hearing her cry...the cry I thought I would never hear again. Of course all four of our children got many safety talks the rest of the vacation.
I wondered for the next few days what God was showing me. I felt His prompting and my heart was laid wide open. It finally clicked. God literally gave a vision, through Josey's wandering, that there is a child who is out there...lost...and we need to find them. It gives me chills writing about it. God knows their story, He's watching over them....as He leads us to them. I said to my friend I don't want this to be something that I think and talk about on vacation and then when we get home to reality we forget about it like it never happened. I want to follow through and let the Holy Spirit lead. As I told Doug one night about my thoughts, he didn't take me to the mental hospital, but instead, agreed that we start the adoption process. God's been working on his heart, too. He revealed to me about one month after starting the adoption process that more than 8 months ago he thought I would want to adopt a child.
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